The NICU

They tell me the hours feel like forever, but the years will fly by.

Right now, it’s 11pm and I am half wrapped up in a blanket, listening the the NICU alarms go off, torn between staying here, being with Laurel, and sleeping. This will be their home for 6-8 weeks, so I am getting used to working from here.

Laurel and I were fully aware of what pre-term would mean and when we arrived at the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Everyone was kind, understanding, and gave ample warning, e.g. “There are going to be a lot of wires and tubes…that’s ok.” And for the most part it is. I signed a few papers to authorize procedures and then I had to step out. The twins share a wall, with a door in the middle, so we are able to visit both at the same time. I stood outside of the rooms looking back and forth as people feverishly hooked up the girls. Again, I felt pretty useless, but they let me watch and asked me if I had questions.

Not sure how it happened, but I had three people giving me realtime updates - one for each baby and one who was letting me know where Laurel was. As soon as I found out Laurel was out of surgery and in recovery, I went to find her. She looked great! We chatted, I gave her my side of the story and she basically just tried to stay comfortable.

We were assigned a room for Laurel and, once we settled in there, I headed back to see the twins. I don’t know how or why, but they looked even smaller. I was able to hang out with the girls, change a diaper and observe more. The medical teams were fantastic and showed no signs of concern, just the appropriate amount of diligence and urgency two new lives deserve. It was then the gravity of it all came crashing down on me… not the dad thing, or family thing, or the stress thing, or the tired thing, but their tiny, tiny chest cavities pulsing to get air, and the incubated boxes, and the fact that I could not hold them hammered home that NICU is just baby life support.

They were born at 31 weeks and 1 day, so they have a little more growing to do, but the girls are doing amazingly well! The first part of the story happened so quickly I think it felt like the rest would fly by too, it has not. They are healthy girls - tiny but mighty.

~ Berto