Two girls, two months!
What day is it? What time is it? What is time? Did I brush my teeth? Do I still have teeth? Which baby do I have? Which baby do you have? Nope, guess again. Check the hairline. But now she's growing more hair! Shit. No, I mean actual shit. Who stinks? Is it bath day? What day is it? …
And so it goes. The days (months!?) since October 12th - the day Berto and I dubbed “Baby Christmas” - have FLOWN by… but it has also been forever. 2019 has been the year of years. There was the “year” when we got married, the “year” we moved 4675 times, the “year” I was pregnant, the “year” in the NICU, the “year” the girls came home… it's fucking wild to think of all that's happened in less than 10 months. I'm the mother of two children. What?
Coming home from the NICU has been the best. And the scariest. And the most tiring. And the most bittersweet. But mostly just the best. Having two infants at once is no joke. Anyone who does this without significant support should be inducted into some parenting hall of fame. Big shout out to my mom for… EVERYTHING. To all the family and friends who have called, visited, taken night shifts, gifted food, fed babies, sent goodies and good vibes, and put up with my OCD/type A/terrified new parent shit, THANK YOU.
The girls are… perfect. Watching them grow and change is magical. Last week something shifted and we were able to put their beds flat (vs being on an incline to attempt to mitigate some of the reflux issues… I know, I know… Inclined beds aren't current AAP recommendation. You do what you have to do.) They both also started looking around all over the place while eating - cool because there’s a whole world out there and they’re trying to see it… less cool because chasing their face with a bottle is not as fun as they think! Things that ARE as fun as they (I) think:
Grabby little hands - They’re starting to try to grab and feel toys/books/cool pattern clothes and, when you pick them up, they actually use the arm/hand that's over your shoulder to hold on. It's the sweetest.
Smiles forever - These kids are SO HAPPY. They wake up smiling and cooing and it doesn't take much to keep them smiling throughout the day (how fun are baby smiles???!!!)
Laughing - We've got smiles and pre-laugh goofy coos galore, but both Sia and Farrah have now gifted us with legitimate baby laughs… It's not happening regularly yet, or even when you might expect it (why is getting in the bath hilarious two times in a row but not the third?), but it's happening and it's actually the best thing ever. Ever.
Chit chat - Both girls have no shortage of things to say. The new soundtrack of my life is adorable baby sounds and I'm not mad about it. They're happy to talk to themselves, but they're even happier to talk to you. Sia is especially passionate in these little tete-a-tetes. I'll keep the nerdy speech pathologist stuff to a minimum here but there's no end to how amazing it is watching language and social communication develop.
Rolling with my homies - Both girls are slowly turning into marbles. Sia is the more consistent front-to-back roller, but Farrah isn't far behind. When they're finally independently mobile, we're so screwed.
Sleeping through the night - they're doing it. It's amazing. Farrah has decided she likes to stay up and party a little, but we’ll forgive her (especially since most of the time the party dies down by 8:30. How reasonable of her.)
Blowing raspberries, biting/sucking in their lower lips, putting their pacifiers back in independently, trying to hold their bottles, getting through their first cold, loving being outside, starting to drool, turning to look for sounds/voices, random list of things they do that are important/I enjoy… it grows daily, just like them. I know there’re still tiny compared to most (<1st percentile club in the house! 🤦♀️) but they’re huge to me. At the next weigh-in my money is on them being close to 10lbs. That's basically 5x what they weighed at birth…
Awhile ago I talked about not knowing how old my kids were… That sounds weird, but that feeling hasn't gone away. When we're out in public (in places where there are as few people as possible), people ask how old the girls are and I'm still figuring out how to answer. If I say they're almost 5 months old, people look at them and look at me and you can see the concern/does not compute wheels turning. If I lie and just give their adjusted age (2+ months), then I feel weird about it - I'm also denying all the hard work and, for lack of a better word (is there a better word?), trauma it took to get where we are. So I stumble through an explanation that is either confusing or enlightening or, sometimes, bonding. Sometimes it turns out I'm talking to another preemie/NICU family and everything you don't say (while you're simultaneously saying too much trying to answer what should be a simple question) doesn't have to be said.
Little girls, I wish you a very happy 2 months of freedom, almost 5 months since birth, and here's to a lifetime of looking younger than you actually are - I promise it'll eventually be a good thing 😉. Love, Mom.
