I miss them already…

I miss them already. Not “I miss them so much when we leave the hospital!”, though I feel that, too. I miss the babies who are here, but who won’t be here in a few short weeks because someone stronger and bigger will have taken their place. Everything everyone ever said about it being different when it’s yours is absolutely true - these babies... these little, wrinkled, fuzzy, not quite three-pound things... they are so perfect. They are so perfect my heart aches knowing how fleeting this time is. They’ll be gone before I know it, replaced by their future selves...

The Sia and Farrah of right now are kicking everything’s ass. Both are now breathing room air - no more face masks, nasal canulas, or CPAP. Both have only a nasogastric (NG) tube for feeding - no more IVs, PICC, or umbilical lines. They finally smell like babies - no more medical tape, plastic, and forced air. I could smell them forever. Weird? Don’t care. Both are still working their way back up to birth weight and we’re nearly there! Celebrate every small victory! Sometimes the smallest things really aren’t so small. These days we’re working in ounces, grams, and mililiters. Each one is precious. 

You know what else is precious? Watching your partner fall in love... watching them grow into their new role as a parent. I knew I would love that, but I didn’t anticipate crying about it so much! These girls are so lucky - their dad is so unafraid, so supportive, and so in love with them... 

... and so am I. I love them. I love them so much... and I miss everything about them, tonight and forever.