New Normal

My new mantra is that this is our new normal.

I live far from my work, so we can live close to support. Our kids are in the NICU, so they can be close to support, but that’s not where we sleep, so they feel far away. Sometimes, our girls turn purple when you hold them because they’ve stopped breathing. Sometimes, eating is so hard for them, they cry and squirm.

I am so lucky to have good healthcare. We live in a place with great medical facilities. My family loves and supports me. I enjoy my work. My wife and I are happy and healthy.

There are many things I can focus on.

It’s also natural to compare. My sister said, you guys are so strong and brave - I told her we that we are cheating! We have professional medical support and every monitor available working in concert to help our girls. When her kids were born, they made sure everyone one was ok then sent them on their merry way. That sounds crazy!

It’s all hard. It’s all scary. Basically it’s all normal. It’s just a new normal.

That said. Some days, it’s really hard. I don’t see it as unique or special. But that doesn’t mean it’s not hard.

I am excited to hold my babies tomorrow. :)